What is a consultant?

Well, I tell people I am a software consultant relinquishing the term 'SAP' which happens to be the no.1 ERP software in the world (but of course, there are the few who knows or heard of SAP before, probably from ads or work experience). And I will predictably get the question asked 'What do I do actually?'
 
Well, I wish could tell them jokingly that a consultant is a prostitute actually, with the following supporting points :-

1. I work very odd hours.
2. I'm paid a lot of money to keep the client happy.
3. I'm paid well but my pimp gets most of the money.
4. I spend a majority of my time in a hotel room.
5. I charge by the hour but my time can be extended.
6. I'm not proud of what I do.
7. Creating fantasies for my clients is rewarded.
8. It's difficult to have a family.
9. I have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats me up, the pimp just sends me to another client.
11. I'm embarrassed to tell people what I do for a living.
12. People ask, "What do you do?" and I can't explain it.
13. My client pays for the hotel room plus hourly rate.
14. My client always wants to know how much I charge and what they get for the money.

Well, I'm all of the above. Proof can be seen from my collection of snapshots.
 
So, what's this blog about anyway, you may ask? I dun really know, but I guess should be writing about something relating to work here since my job is not a bed of roses (again referring to the above points) .... yes, I know now... this will be the place for me to bitch or rave about my job. No, it's not going to be like that other Randy blog which seemed to have caught the attention of many from the US... possibly rantings from a celebrity maybe?... but it'll be my form of release.... hehehehe.